77 Myths of Venerable Magik

1 I Hate Black Metal... Or Frostbytten and Bvtthurt 1:54 2 Doesn’t Matter What You Call Yourself, You’re Always Gonna Be a Nazi (Just Say No to NSBM) 1:31 3 How to Get Signed 0:57 4 Social Media Death Metal 2:58 5 I’m Pretty Cool Myself 0:27 6 Jump the Heck Up 1:45 7 Super Unorthodox Backwoods Coffee Club Revival 0:45 8 Skimpy Solomon Fartfingers 3:26 9 Introduction: Gathering Around the Light of the Fire as the Unearthly and Benevolent Spirits of the Forest Join Us in This Magik Night 1:09 10 My Elf Ears Melted in My Car 0:05 11 Ranking Morbid Angel Albums Solely Based Upon Their Cover Art 2:22 12 At the Risk of Taking a Feminist Stance, I Gotta Say Cemetery Rapist Is a Very Bad Band 0:06 13 Getting Frostbite During the Texas Blizzard Taking Corpsepaint Photos 0:06 14 Don’t Tempt Me Frodo! 0:04 15 Awaken Me When the Time Is Appropriate to Listen to Type O Negative 0:34 16 Venom Enema 0:03 17 The Frozen One Awaits 0:04 18 Beefcakes Without Borders 0:05 19 Nothing More Punk Than a Fast, Casual Italian Eatery 0:05 20 The Ancient Spell, Grimly Uttered in the Tongues of the Old Ones by My Unfortunate Rectum Hours After Eating Spicy Curry 0:08 21 Mamma’s Selling a Line 6 0:03 22 Professor Snape, the World’s Favorite Incel 0:03 23 The Gate of No Return 0:03 24 The Noise Gate of No Return 0:04 25 My Former Life as a Poser 0:04 26 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 0:03 27 Diesel Boner 0:05 28 Really, How Long Does It Take to Test a Fucking Compression Pedal?? 0:05 29 Tormented and Coerced Into Performing a Live Ritual by an Eldritch Forest Spirit, a Pair of Ghouls and a Weeb 0:21 30 How Can I Be Punk When I Have a Severe Skin Allergy to Nickel 0:06 31 Freebasing Cringe 0:03 32 I Wish My Life Had More of a Thulean Perspective 0:07 33 Daydreaming Giddily About John Lennon Burning in Hell 0:12 34 Catfishing Viper 0:03 35 Cognitive Ball Therapy 0:03 36 Researching the Legality of Cannibalism 0:07 37 Entering and Leaving the Garage Waiting for the Random Encounter Peavey to Spawn 0:06 38 Unapproachable Raw Black Metal Legend Purchasing Me Indie Rock Record From My Own City 0:12 39 Cursed to Listen to Untold Hours of King Crimson in the Lair of Count Progula 0:09 40 Asking Raw Black Metal Elite, “You Ever Heard Behemoth?” 0:09 41 Buying a Gun From the Drummer of Savatage 0:05 42 Having a Random Encounter With Lord Wurm in Recycled, to Have Him Babble Something Insane and Give You an S Rank Quest 2:10 43 Nice 12 String Ric You Psych Rock Playing Poser (I Mean This Unironically) 0:04 44 Okay Give Me That Guitar It’s Too Cool for You, You Play Psych Rock in 2021 0:06 45 Wolves in the Throne Room Posting Emojis (Wolves in the Throne Room Are a Bunch of Fucking Nerds Pt 2) 0:10 46 Being a Pornogrind Fan Is Cleaning the Cum Out of the Grooves on Your Meat Shits Records 0:11 47 The Worst Part of Being an NSBM Fan (Other Than, Y’know Being Racist) Is Having to Pretend That Absurd Is a Good Band 0:04 48 Like a Macabre Rail of Silly String a Footlong Cord of Turds Rope Descends From My Anus 0:07 49 And on That Day His Forehead Grew Three Times Its Normal Size 0:05 50 Punishing Edm Kids With Neil Young 0:04 51 Becoming a Cocaine Cowboy Because You Don’t Know What Else to Do With Yourself Now That Burger Records Is Cancelled 0:06 52 You’ll Cowards Won’t Even Play in Standard Tuning 0:05 53 Todopoderoso Steals Riffs From Kombat (How DARE They Play an Open E) 0:05 54 Ancient Sword of the Meth King 0:04 55 I’m Going to Fucking Fight Vincent Gallo, and I Will Win 0:06 56 Successfully Cyberbullied a Child 0:04 57 Save a Tele, Kill Your Local Indie Rocker 1:33 58 Do You Believe in Magick (Spelled with a “K”)? 0:03 59 Aerosmith by Choice 0:02 60 Another Wampyric and Elusive Black Metal Project With Dungeon Synth Interludes Just Like the Last Five That I Unloaded My Paycheck On 0:10 61 That Mountain Goats Song About a Death Metal Band Wasn’t About Kombat 0:06 62 Jackhammer Dildo 0:04 63 Knowing Very Obscure Metal Bands Makes Me a Desirable Person and Fun to Talk to at Parties 0:08 64 An Onslaught of Rotting Monkeys 0:02 65 Giving My Album Art the Color Palette of Black, White and Red So We All Know It’s Blasphemy Worship (What the Goat Wasn’t Enough of a Giveaway?) 0:07 66 Wretched Crotchspawn of a Belligerent Oogle 0:04 67 Larry Is Bald 0:04 68 Cum Ghost 0:03 69 The House That Beef Built 0:03 70 Time to Start Bullying NFT Artists 0:06 71 Critical Race Theory in Power Electronics 0:06 72 A Snake With a Mohawk Eating Its Own Asshole 0:05 73 I Fear My Earthling Neighbors Have Seen Me Feasting Upon Car Batteries 0:07 74 A Group of Three (3) Or More Peavey Combo Amps Is Commonly Referred to as a “Pawn Shop” 0:11 75 Honor Guard of Black Kittens Guide Me as I Carry This Pile of Bones Home 0:10 76 If You Feel Your Rectum Begin to Leak Feel Free to Challenge Me to a Battle of Intellects on Facebook 0:26 77 Eno-Pilled 1:09